Sunday, December 12, 2010

Where does he get this nonsense?


One on each side of nothing, considering the possibility of every type of information, anxious customers jammed the dungeons. And federal regulators said they weren’t alarmed by a tempestuous yet sternly beautiful night. Regarding accuracy and irrevocable overthrow like a whisper, nevertheless they cannot collect objects on recently-dug ground, and real wages never fell through the TV set. And I listened to the propagandistic tough-guy-ism on his hands, and I leaned against an undertaker dry-washing his lower belly. The light gonged the usual vulgarity. My car was across the law, vanished. The faint glitter rose at her legs and torched vacant buildings. To get to meet a long silence. give me a side street pointing at different times. Somebody hid the windows, abundant evidence that the mome raths outgrabe. Somebody else's rain still pounded.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The More Bread . . .

Essene Bread Spelt Sproud cut

The received wisdom is that there is an inverse relationship between shit and bread, such that the more bread one has, the less shit one has to eat. An examination of this ratio will show that, at best, there is less shit as a ratio of shit to bread, while the amount of shit remains constant.

Further research indicates that there is doubt that the amount of shit remains constant. Indeed, that even the ratio of shit to bread remains constant, such that if shit:bread is equal to 1:2, an increase in bread to 7 will result in an increase in shit to 3:5, for in some cases, shit increases exponentially relative to the increase in bread, such that (s+b)^b : b.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Marketing Nonviolence



Nonviolence. Said by some to be the only rational or moral response to violence. But that's as may be. I want to see what might happen if nonviolence is marketed.
Marketing nonviolence. The results of the nonviolence are so great that people are convinced that there is something to this nonviolence stuff after all. Nonviolence marketing nonviolence. And market that. Marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. And . . . Nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. And Marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. Nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. Marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. Nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence. Marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence marketing nonviolence.
This one does not roll off the tongue . . .

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Marketing marketing

First there is marketing, a process of creating consumer interest in goods and services. Then perhaps someone has not heard of marketing, or is opposed to it, and marketing is presented to them as something worth doing. This is marketing marketing. Perhaps it took persuasion to begin the process of marketing marketing. This is marketing marketing marketing. And it just gets worse from there.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing.
Marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing marketing.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Variations on a theme of stick



What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What's chrome-plated and sticky?
A chrome-plated stick.

What's short and sticky?
A short stick.

What's long and sticky?
A long stick.

What's pearl-handled and sticky?
A pearl-handled stick.

What's sticky and sticky?
A sticky stick.

What's heavy and sticky?
A heavy stick.

What's sparkly and sticky?
A sparkly stick.

What's tricky and sticky?
A tricky stick.




Friday, March 5, 2010

Sarah Palin's Stand-up Routine

For the talent portion of the beauty contest she was in, Sarah Palin considered doing a stand-up routine. The transcript of the routine (which she never delivered) was recently discovered in the bottom of a discarded bird-cage, and is presented here, mostly unedited.

Hiya, everyone!
I just flew in from Wasilla . . . boy are my arms tired . . .

Things happen in Alaska, crazy things that you wouldn't see anywhere else. Just the other day, I shot a moose in my bikini; what it was doing in my bikini I don't know.

And the people in Alaska, wow, they are something else! Take my husband . . . Please!

My husband and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

The other day he was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

I'll tell ya, my husband and I, we don't think alike. I donate money to the homeless, and he donates money to the topless!

During sex my husband always wants to talk to me. Just the other night he called me from a hotel.

The other day my husband met me at the front door. I was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, I was coming home.

We have fun here in Alaska, though; we have fun in our small towns. We have horse racing. I was at the track last week, and I bet on a great horse! It took seven horses to beat him. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

And my family! Let me tell you about my family. I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

My brother told me his car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and he told me it was in the lake.

And my sister! She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

And my mother; she could tell that her parents hated her. Her bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One day, she met the surgeon general. He offered her a cigarette.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

Thank you very much, you've been a great audience.


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Casablanca


I thought that I had seen Casablanca. I was wrong; I had seen it only on a small screen, and with commercial interruptions.
Thanks to our local Living Room Theater I have seen it on the big screen, as god and the director intended.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

2010 you say . . .

As someone who will be 46 years old this month:
2010 sounds like something out of a science fiction novel. Which I like.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Sherlock Holmes

Before I saw Sherlock Holmes . . . oh bother, I've just done that one . . . but seriously, a good movie (if you like that sort of thing). I hear that the sequel is already in production . . .

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Machiavelli "The Prince" Chapter XX part 5 Wordcloud

Wordle: Machiavelli "The Prince" Ch. 20

Title Generator

Random Title Generator by Maygra (based on a design by Jellyn)

Random Title Generator

If this generates a title of a book or short story already in existence, I assure you, it was completely random. If it generates a title you'd like to use, go right ahead! A word of thanks to those people who have created Javascript tutorials or put sample scripts up for people like me to see and learn from. (NOTE: There are a lot of words in this, some adult in nature. Just words, folks!)

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